The mountain of downsizing anxiety: the dreaded ‘maybe’ pile

One of the biggest stumbling blocks in any downsizing effort – whether it’s in preparation for a move or just for tidiness or space reclamation – is the “maybe” pile. It’s relatively easy to know what to keep and what to dispose of by donation or dump. It’s the maybe pile that causes people huge anxiety: Not only is it the largest pile, but also, there are too many questions associated with each item in it. Would a close relative want this? Is this worth money? Grandma gave this to me; should I really get rid of it? Maybe I’ll need this again to make that special soufflé or pot au feu.

I’ve touched on the maybe pile in previous columns, but now is the time to really dive into it.

I recently attacked a maybe pile after the loss of my father, and I found added empathy for my clients. I had always known how hard it was, but going through it myself led me to even greater understanding.

So, here are a few tips for managing the maybe pile:

Set reasonable expectations: The whole reason for a maybe pile is because you’re not clear on what to do with some items. It will take several trips back to the pile to whittle it down. Don’t beat yourself up, but rather set a goal to make decisions on a few items with each visit. Be patient with yourself. Start with 10-15 minutes. Pay homage to items that may have been in your family for generations but you don’t want to keep.

Take pictures: This makes sense for several reasons:

• If you think a family member might want the item, send them a picture and get a commitment
• If there’s something that has sentimental value, but brings you no joy or utility, take a picture you can look at once in while to recall the sentiment. And remember, if you donate or gift it, someone else with find joy in the item
• If you think an item may have intrinsic value, comparing its picture with Google Seek or similar app can help you determine whether your item is valuable, and whether you want to sell it.

Be honest with yourself: Are you really going to make that special soufflé or pot au feu ever again? And if you do, will it be often enough to justify making room for the special pan/appliance? Use this tough-love approach to any number of specialized items like sports gear, carpentry/plumbing/electrical tools, clothing (you probably won’t wear that plaid leisure suit or hot pink ball gown ever again) and of course, kitchen gadgets.

Make a list of donation sites and recycle sites: Sussex County is blessed to have many charitable organizations that accept donations. Have a list handy of those that accept clothing, household items, furniture, tools, sporting equipment, etc., as well as their location, hours and whether or not they offer pickup services. Also know the rules at your local landfill/transfer station, particularly for recycling things like old electronics.

You will be surprised that after a few visits to the maybe pile over the course of a few days, you will have made progress! For the last few items in your pile, here’s a guide: If it has any sentimental value and you have room for it, keep it. If it has no sentimental value nor intrinsic value – and it’s still in the maybe pile after several days – dump it.