Old school, new school - Four decades and three high schools ago, I was a new Cape teacher and coach. On Wednesday, I walked into the pole barn that is a new weight room that used to be a storage shed and before that, perhaps a mushroom house. Football coach Mike Frederick has a corner office – there’s even a bathroom with a shower. Then I drove into Lewes to check out the progress of the new Fred Thomas Middle School, where my son Dave is the newly named principal. Being a principal of a school with no students is like being a beach lifeguard with no ocean. It’s going to be an interesting year once the new school zones are drawn and the Fred Thomas Middle School fields a full array of sports teams.
General appearance - I can walk into a house of mirrors, also known as a fitness center, and never look at my image. In fact, if I catch a glimpse of my mirror image, it is by mistake. I don’t FaceTime because it involves a closeup of my own face, which I find scary like Frank Frederick carrying his lunchbox into the Philadelphia Budd plant, where in 1955 they made locomotives and tanks. A healthy, positive self-image takes years for a prime-time athlete to cultivate because we depreciate and decline like old station wagons. A decade ago when I looked 10 years better than I do now, I was at the inside counter at Mid-Atlantic Family Practice just checking out. I looked down at an open folder and in my chart I saw a category “General Appearance,” then the word “Overweight.” I saw all the people on task in their cool-colored scrubs, and I wanted to strike back and start making fun of everyone’s general appearance. I’m now with my girl Kelly Yudt, PA, at Cape Henlopen Primary Care, part of the Beebe Medical Group, who is tasked with keeping me running like an old Plymouth at the Barrett Jackson car auction, but the reserve is always on, as I am not for sale. Now there is a patient portal where you can check your health profile and share your lab results with all interested parties, which is usually a number between none and one. “Susan, are you interested in my lipid panel results?”
“Anonymity Ville Horror” - If an adult goes to a youth sporting event – school sports count – and acts the fool in public, then they forfeit their right to be anonymous. It’s been years since I’ve called anyone out by name with an accompanying photo, and I won’t do it now because I’m a Blue Hen Chicken with no escapability or breakaway speed. It’s like having the political crazies jumping on your Facebook thread for the sole purpose of shredding you like a classified document in an underwear drawer.
Guard dogs - I clicked on a link “Guard Dogs for Seniors” and a photo of a Corgi popped up. Killer Corgis of the Western World: go ahead, test her. Just ask yourself one question, “Do I feel lucky?” If I had a killer Corgi, I’d name him, “Dirty Prince Harry.”
Snippets - The first practice for fall sports is Monday, Aug. 14. Cape football starts practice Monday, Aug. 7, because it has an early home game Thursday, Aug. 31, against Red Lion. Websites4Sports is still using 2022 dates, which means I’ll show up a year and a day early. The Cape Vikings Basketball Camp is coed for grades 5-8 from Aug. 7 to 9 at Beacon Middle School. The cost of the camp is $125. To register, call or email coach Steve Re at 410-430-7852 or stephen.re@cape.k12.de.us. The JV-level Cape boys’ team is playing summer league in Milford while the varsity is playing at the Boys & Girls Club in Newark on Route 40. There will be a Cape girls’ lacrosse alumni game from 6 to 8 p.m., Thursday, July 27, at Champions Stadium. Contact Anna Frederick or any of the usual suspects for your verbal commitment. Saquon Barkley of the Giants did not sign his franchise tag, which would have paid him $10.1 million for one year, and he might take their nuclear option and sit out the season. Barkley is a class guy, but how can fans possibly relate to turning down $10.1 million for a single season of football?