Catty comments followed by ‘just kidding’ are mostly not funny

Catty comments - Let’s just talk about sports successes, which seem to annoy some people who will spool out left-handed comments like, “When are we going to play a real team?” followed by “Just kidding.” Does it filter down from professional and college sports to high schools and even middle schools? Trickle dumb down seems to be in play in sports parlance, so let’s not pretend it doesn’t happen. For example, “The Eagles at 3-0 ain’t played nobody yet, and neither has 3-0 Cape,” evoking a new sports cliché, “Excuses are for winners.” I remember 25 years ago in late May, one athlete had just won a state title in the triple jump, the other was on a state championship lacrosse team. The lacrosse player said to the track athlete, “You guys are Division II, what is up? I don't understand.” I interjected, “You guys won a state title in a sport where only four total teams can throw and catch. What is up with that?” Sports has become a psychological battle of introspection and circumspection. The upside is that all the external noise and cognitive dissonance only serve to make the team bond stronger and forever lasting.  

Chef Boyardee - Twenty-five years ago, Tim Bamforth and I made a presentation to the Cape school board about establishing a high school sports hall of fame. We were donating our talents, which fell along the continuum from negligible to considerable. I requested a small hall of fame room in the high school, which would be locked during the school day, and $10,000 for computer equipment. That was the proposal. We weren’t interested in any school board bank shots that we had to rebound. We were deluged with so many questions, as if we were trying to swindle the richest public school district in the state by honoring its own people. To quote Jimmy Durante, “Everyone wanted to get into the act.” We were asked about Lewes, Rehoboth and Milton high schools, and of course, Jason. We had ventured into the phragmites, so I finally said, “Forget about it. The proposal is withdrawn!” A sympathetic and kind member of the board said, “If you need $10,000, you may want to host a spaghetti dinner fundraiser in the cafeteria. I hear they do very well.” I abruptly responded, “Who do I look like, Chef Boyardee?” I walked into my own joke as the folks in the room were in agreement, “Yes, actually, he kind of does.” As a meatball aside, the brand Chef Boyardee was established in Milton in 1928. That’s Milton, Pa., but close enough.  

Red October - The Phillies will host a best-of-three series in round one of the MLB playoffs. That means all games are in Philly, a huge advantage if you're driving to the games. The Diamondbacks, Cubs or Marlins are likely opponents. As a Phillies fan, I’d rather not lose two in my hometown park, but if it has to happen, I’d choose the Cubs because of their loyalties and enthusiasm; whereas, the Diamondbacks and Marlins, I have no idea who goes to their games or who lives there, but I’m guessing most people are from someplace else. The Phillies’ wild card series winner gets the Braves, who are no bargain in a best-of-five series. Yet the Phillies present nightmarish problems for the Braves, a talented team of home run-bashing underdogs. 

Sweetness and sadness - I remember in 1999 when Walter “Sweetness” Payton died at 54 years of age from liver disease. I felt sadness and looked around the Redskins press box as a moment was observed in the stadium. People were crying because Payton was such a nice person and an awesome player.   This week, fans of baseball, not just of the Baltimore Orioles, felt the same sadness hearing the news that Brooks Robinson had passed away at the age of 86. “The Human Vacuum Cleaner” and” Mr. Hoover” were two of his nicknames. Brooks was from Little Rock, Ark., and just had that down-home humbleness about him.    

Snippets - Last November, the Smyrna field hockey team defeated Cape in overtime in the state championship game 2-1. On Sept. 14 this season, Smyrna won at Cape 2-1 behind 14 saves from Drexel-bound Halle Geiger. Then on Sept. 26, Smyrna beat Delmar 3-2, as Geiger had 12 saves. Smyrna will likely play Delmar again in the Henlopen Conference Championship game and Cape in the Division I state tournament. Milford (6-0) is also poised to make some noise. Britain Covey, 5-foot-8 and 173 pounds, is up off the practice squad returning kickoffs and punts for the Eagles. He played for Utah and is a great story that won’t be discussed on “First Take,” as they are too busy bashing Zach Wilson of the Jets. Go on now, git!