Daughter of late end-of-life rights advocate: My 2025 wishes

Editor’s note: Lynn Knothe advocates for the option of medical aid in dying for terminally ill Delawareans after witnessing her father Chuck’s experience with terminal cancer leading up to his death in September 2024.

Death is not a topic that most people associate with a time of year known for holiday gatherings, shared meals and moments of gratitude among loved ones, but it should unite us all. No matter our religious and spiritual beliefs, values and cultural identities, we will all inevitably die.

My wish, as we enter this new year of life, is that we challenge ourselves to think about what we’d like those final moments to be like. Will we have music, prayers, our favorite foods? What kind of medical care do we want? Who do we want to surround ourselves with? What do we hope to say to them?

According to a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, two out of three Americans have not completed an advance directive. This is troubling. I encourage us to think about death with as much love and as little fear as we can. Make a plan while you are healthy and still have the ability to do so. Removing the stress of guessing about your end-of-life decisions – by talking about and formalizing them – is the ultimate gift to your loved ones.

But my greatest hope for 2025 is for us to respect and honor everyone’s end-of-life choices, even when they differ from our own. My father, Chuck Knothe, made headlines this fall with his dying wish for outgoing Gov. John Carney to make the option of medical aid in dying possible for terminally ill Delawareans.

After he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 2023, the end of my dad’s life came faster than any of us could anticipate, and we hoped he would be able to peacefully die on his own terms in the wake of his immense physical suffering as his cancer spread.

Things looked promising: In 2024, the Delaware End of Life Options Act made historic progress by finally passing the General Assembly and was sent to the governor’s desk for approval. Sadly, he let it sit there for three months, leaving so many sick people and their loved ones in a state of limbo.

Gov. Carney waited until after he won Wilmington’s mayoral primary to selfishly veto the bill because it wasn’t in line with his own viewpoints. His veto disregarded the wishes of nearly 75% of Delaware voters. My dad died just four days before the veto, still hoping that the option of medical aid in dying might be possible for others, even if it wasn’t going to be for him.

2025 marks the 10th year since the Delaware End of Life Options Act was introduced. In that decade of hard work, many passionate, courageous and sick people like my dad have spent their last moments advocating for this compassionate healthcare option.

This year, advocates will come together once again to raise their voices and ask lawmakers to show love and respect for their voters by joining the 11 U.S. jurisdictions that offer a full range of end-of-life healthcare options, including medical aid in dying. The 10th time is the charm.