False start for kids’ race is funny if you’re a 50-year-old clown

No-class clown - A bunch of youngsters lined up on Rehoboth Avenue at 7:50 a.m. Aug. 18 for the two-minute kids’ race around the firehouse before the Fire Fightin’ 5K stepped off at 8 a.m. Race director Tim Bamforth made sure they were behind the starting line, which was just a crack in the sidewalk. Kids, parents and grandparents were all antsy. Tim moved up the avenue, where he would blast his dual-powered DeWalt air horn. A clown in the crowd shouted, “Go! to the runners, so a group of them took off and had to be called back. The clown who owned it thought it was funny. No one had any idea who did it, but I was looking right at the dude. The downtown clown then ran the 5K race. I recognized him before he crossed the finish line and was going to yell, “Stop!” He was a young-looking 50-year-old. I decided not to out him, as the fleet-footed moment was long gone.

We are doodles! - Six zebras (football officials) showed up to work the scrimmage Saturday night between Cape and Caravel. Who has ever said, “I appreciate you, Mr. Official,” but we do, because without them there is no game. We are all blended hybrids, the doodles of the homo sapiens species.  Zebras have been interbred with horses and donkeys; they are called zebroids.  A zorse is a cross between a zebra and a horse; a zonkey between a zebra and a donkey, and a zoni, between a zebra and a pony. Football zebras are striped so they are easily spotted and don’t get caught up in the wash inside massive collisions. Biting flies may have a thousand eyes, but they find zebra stripes confusing. Not sure about no-see-ums.

Rams up! - Cami Smith, aka Cam Bam, was a big game scorer for Cape field hockey. A 2020 grad, she went on to play at West Chester, graduating with a degree in elementary education. Cami had a fifth year on the table but walked away to pursue her master's degree. She is the new head coach of field hockey at Beacon Middle School, replacing Lynn Richardson, who moved over to Fred Thomas Middle School. It’s going to be an interesting year for middle school sports inside the Cape district as the balance of power shifts. Cape beat Sussex Tech 1-0 in the 2017 state championship game, with the only goal coming at the 41-minute mark in the second half by sophomore Cami Smith from Alia Marshall.   

Newark Charter - Newark Charter’s field hockey team was ready to take the field Saturday morning for a play day contest. I used my sports sighthound instincts, spotted senior Sophia Walch and said, “Hey, Michelle Junior, what’s up?” I explained all the Fred connections to her family, Michelle Hindman and Andy Walch are her parents. I lined her up for a photo when sophomore sister Genevieve showed up for the house party. We had a good time making connections, and I asked, “How are your granddads, Vern [Walch] and Elliot [Hindman]?” I posted their photo on my facebook page and got this comment from Elliot, who lives in Florida: “It goes all the way to grandparent generation. I see u Fredman!! It is quite a milestone. To have you still commenting on this really makes it that much better. You covered Grandpa a half century ago finishing the Lewes Marathon.”

Coach Caitlyn - Anna Frederick, Cape class of 2013, and Caitlyn Hardy, Cape class of 2011, were visiting in the interlude of Saturday play day games. Anna and Caitlyn share memories as high school teammates, and both are active members of the muppet matrix here at Sesame Street by the Sea where we all look out for one another.  Caitlyn, a goalie, is the new head coach of field hockey at Sussex Academy. She is an awesome person. The Seahawks scored a gem when they roped the wind and got Caitlyn to lead their program.

Snippets - I am a sports consultant. Random people ask me all the time what I think about high school sports issues or professional sports teams. I give my two cents’ worth and expect change. But can I ask an orthopedist to assess my injured right knee as I limp around a sports venue with a 30-pound camera rig? Dr. Eve Hoffman, 38, was the first woman finisher at the Fire Fightin’ 5K, running 19:27. I’ve known Eve through running since she was a teenager. Eve is now an orthopedic surgeon and can run a cordless bone saw as easily as Tim Bamforth runs a DeWalt air horn. But we don’t consult with doctor friends out in the wild. It's considered rude and imposing, plus I couldn’t find Eve when the race was over. I was too focused on hurdling curbs on the way to my car. Go on now, git!