Finally, some information readers might find useful

Summer sports camps may be fun, especially for empty nest parents still in their prime, but they are not generally funny because how do you find jokes in schedules and stuff? But I’m slightly afraid of the camp people - afraid they may ask, “When you’re done making fun of your relatives could you perhaps put some information in your column that readers may find useful?”

So here is some useful information: The Mid-Atlantic field hockey camp at Cape Henlopen State Park has space available for indivisibles - there goes that spell checker - individuals or teams for the dates July 19-23 and July 26-30. The camp covers girls in grades 6 though 12 from beginners to elites. If you’re an elite player beginning the sixth grade, you don’t need camp; you need an agent. Contact Frannie Slabonik at 610-855-8079 or mafhc@dejazzd.com or midatlanticfieldhockey.com.

Coach Kathleen Fluharty - KK to her close friends - will host a WHISE Guys field hockey clinic at Cape Henlopen High School June 19-21. The cost is $279. Michigan State head coach Rolf van der Kerkhof - I did not make that up - and his staff will offer advanced teaching in your own back yard, providing you live at the stadium. Check out the whiseguys.com website.

Coach KK’s Gotta Love It Camp schedule is as follows (please cut this out and affix to the fridge with a giant doggie magnet): boys and girls lacrosse camp at Rehoboth Elementary School is set for July 6-10 - grades 1-5 - 9-11 a.m. $125;  grades 5-9 - 9 a.m. to noon, $150; girls field hockey camp on Cape’s Astroturf is set for July 20-24 - grades 1-5 - 9-11:30 a.m., $140; grades 5-10 - 9 a.m. to noon,  $175; girls field hockey summer league at Eagles’ Nest, Tuesdays July 7 through Aug. 4, Grades 1-10 - 5:30-6:30 p.m., $75; boys and girls individual/small group lessons all ages/all levels - 1/2 hour $35, 1 hour $60; small groups (3+) $30 each. Contact coachkk@aol.com or 302-745-5676.

The Henlopen Soccer Club will hold select team tryouts at HOB Elementary SchoolSaturday, May 30 and June 6. Signups begin at noon with tryouts at 1 p.m. This is open to boys and girls ages 8-17. Players should bring a ball, shin guards and water bottle. Yes, put water in it. For more information, call Melanie Hudson at 856-9227.

RUNNING ROCKETTES - I don’t talk running apparel with women because there is no future in such a conversation. Last Sunday the squadron of short skirt striders asked me to take a group photo but the chorus line pose was all their idea. No, I didn’t know running five miles in a short skirt was cooler; why would I know such a thing? Anyway, girls just want to have fun - so what happened to Chardonnay and Cranberry? Pictured above (l-r) are Jonna Hitch, Cathy Barber, Mary Beth Evans, Mary Ann Sockriter, Sharyn Slick, Liz Roe and Amy Linzey.

G UNIT - Mike Weir, progenitor of the running Weir clan of which he is the slowest member, stayed out of last Sunday’s Masser 5-Miler to take care of the new family puppy, a black and tan lab named Guinness. Mike tells me that black and tan is the latest color variation of labs, a double recessive phenomenon like my cousin Janet, and is a recognized purebred but not a certified show dog. My dog Darby Doodle is 25 percent poodle and can juggle a lacrosse ball while lying on his back and he is cute in a Cujo growl in a truck window sort of way.

PET RALLY - Back in 1977 a student named Anita brought a kitten to a Friday rally because she heard “pet” not “pep” in the announcement. Pep rallies are passé in the modern day because all kids are “moduled up” like Mercury astronauts.

I attended a Friday football pep rally in September 1975 in the old Lewes gym. The place was rocking and reverberating; it was exciting and exhilarating. I knew I had found my home but not my homeroom. There was no introduction of the soccer and field hockey teams. There was no attempt at egalitarian pep. Sports ain’t about social justice. This was about Friday night football. Last Wednesday there was a too-long-after-the-fact rally to celebrate the girls’ state championship in lacrosse, but first let’s recognize all the other spring teams. I hate to tell everyone this, but students who don’t do sports do not want to revel in the successes of those who do. They just don’t care! It ain’t like it used to be! The pep rally was during the game and on the field afterward and all those who care were there. It is a bit embarrassing to watch this all play out, but every day is a new learning experience.

SNIPPETS - The scholastic sports using bats and balls are still playing in tournaments, which is why the Gazette sports team is chasing our sister schools. We go to the show because we can.

Caravel softball is coached by Randy Johnson of Lewes and Cape, and if Randy is in the finals we will be there even though Randy sat on the St. Andrew’s side last Thursday with his boyhood buddy Karl Saliba who goes by the nickname “The Oracle Kolo.”

The Run for the Ribbon Race 5K and 10K is set for 7:30 a.m. Saturday, May 30, at Cape Henlopen High School. The proceeds from this race go to the American Cancer Society and your positive energy and support are needed, so show up and do the walk or like me, do the talk. I lost a mother and a sister to cancer and I know everyone reading this has a story, so show and support the cause and feel connected to the community of real people. And the bagels are free.