Following codes of comedy, I’m allowed to make fun of Q-Tips

A person who is not me speculated, at 11 a.m. on referendum day, that passage looked doubtful because of the Q-Tip factor and when I feigned a moronic look she said, “Senior citizens,” and I responded, “Q-Tip.” By the way, I am one, so that means - following the codes of comedy - I’m allowed to make fun of them.

The senior lobby and lots of seniors out in the lobby usually spells trouble for passage of anything that by vote appears to cost taxpayers more money. Here at the beach the metric is young families chasing kids with camcorders and a burgeoning senior population and influx of transplants and transplanted people who have little-to-no real connection or integration with the school district. I never fall back to the land of the outraged and appalled and I never pitch my tent on the moral high ground. I believe in encouraging adult enthusiasts who are positive on the energy of youth, because as much as I would like to think I am the future - even when I was I wasn’t as my own grandmother looked at me when I was 14 and said, “My heavens, the world is in trouble.”

Closing out this issue, I did notice many axe grinders with all kinds of personal agendas working to shoot down the referendum as shooting things down is the only sport they play and the number of local youth sports leagues - like just about all of them - who did nothing to encourage or mobilize parents to get out and vote. You have to play to win!

WHAT UP, CHASER? Chase Utley has lost two games for the Phillies this year by botching routine plays. On Sunday, June 15, in the 10th inning he went Little League twice, missing the old pitcher covering first throw by a country mile.

You just know pitcher Tom “Flash” Gordon wanted to say something to the California Kid who is the best second baseman in all of baseball when he isn’t throwing balls behind pitchers covering bags. Chase needs to be booed in his own park, because if he was McNabb Philly fans would be all over him. Guaranteed when Chase takes the field against the Red Sox he gets the Standing O Treatment just because Philly fans are only selectively brutal.

POLITICALLY INCORRECT - Philadelphia sportswriter Bill Conlin - now 73 years old - is caustically witty and intelligent and not afraid to take a joke if it comes across the flat screen inside his forehead. Last week on a sports talk program the moderator read an email to a panel of sportswriters.

Raul of Vineland writes, “Do you think the Eagles will be more successful this season now that Andy Reid is parting his hair differently?” Conlin quickly retorted, “I can’t believe he left the blueberry harvest to write that email.”

Conlin was later suspended for what was considered a racially insensitive remark. You know I liked the joke and believe that any group offered blanket immunity from jokes has suffered the ultimate insult. Barry Humphries, who dresses up as the character Dame Edna, had several small countries after him a few years ago when he said, “The only reason to learn Spanish is to talk to the man running your leaf blower.”

A firestorm of criticism followed the comment and Humphries said in his defense, “I’m a comedian!”

TIGER IS HUMAN! I just wanted to write those three words, which represent a truism and fallacy at the same time, because tigers are not human.

Back off, all the “Tiger Woods is from another planet” hype. I like the guy. I don’t play golf - so I don’t do air swings in causal conversation - but I’ll watch the drama of everyone in the world trying to derail the Tiger circus train from its ultimate destiny.

On Sunday, June 15, Tiger gently stroked a putt to send The U.S. Open into overtime and some loser in the gallery pierced the silence of the tense air, screaming, “Get in the hole!” I thought, “What a freakin’ loser boy.”

Is Tiger Woods the most fit and well-conditioned athlete in any sport? No, he ain’t! I’d have to put him up against my dog Rafael Nadal who ran Roger “Rabbit” Federer – Tiger’s best buddy - all over the court as Nadal dominated, winning his fourth straight French Open. Nadal’s fitness level has been described as just plain crazy.

SNIPPETS - The 53rd Annual Blue-Gold All-Star Football Game is Saturday, June 21, at the University of Delaware. Max Coveleski and Dominique Thomas, the most prolific quarterback-and-receiver combination in Cape history, will play for the Gold team.

Coach Tom Marshall passed away, Saturday, June 14, at age 73. Marshall, a Lewes boy from way back, went on to a very successful career at C.W. Post as the head football coach and since I had this column I always followed his career.

I was fortunate to have known Coach Marshall in a casual-conversation-sports-guy kind of way since his return to Lewes, and always found him to be such a gracious person willing to share stories of his coaching years and to offer insight into the direction the game was traveling. Godspeed to Coach Tom Marshall!