Here’s the long and short of hip surgery

Back in 1977-78 I coached Cape cross country and track to a pair of state championships and ran the Lewes Marathon wearing all white in 3:38 with my wife remarking that I looked like a Dannon yogurt truck dieseling through the streets of Lewes. But the easy pass days of youth and fitness – not to mention the abuse of overuse - collect their tolls later in life. My latest hip x-ray inspired Dr. Wilson Choy to remark, ”That left leg must be kicking your butt.” And because no cartilage and a rapidly corroding femur ball have my left leg now a half-inch shorter than my right and I can’t find a pair of Cuban-heel shoes anywhere - I only need one - I have scheduled hip replacement surgery for this July, which means I get to annoy column readers for months. Speaking of doctor-patient confidentiality, I know that only applies to the doctor.

Speaking of doctors, my primary guy, Jeff Heckert, split for Maine, so who has the job of monitoring my steady demise? That’s right, it’s my job. When’s the last time a doctor came looking for you?

FINAL FOUR - Some of my best friends are used car salesman, and I think comparing college basketball coaches to them is an insult. I also think it’s an insult to pay millions of dollars to a college basketball coach rather that sharing that money with professors and running a really good intramural league. I’d like to see more interviews with admissions directors, and I would pose the question: “I know you have standards, but are they different for athletes?”

If I were a college president I would personally address my team with a chance to win a trip to the final four and tell the players not to put on a cocked ball cap then lean forward into a camera spewing gibberish to millions of Americans watching at home.

There are many humble and classy and academically gifted young men in this tournament, but what any of this has to do with an actual education eludes me. That’s why the NCAA has those commercials about 90 percent of athletes doing something other than sports with their lives. But why the commercials if it’s not to offset the negative images in front of us?

BOOZE IN THE BENTLEY - Dante Stallworth, NFL wide receiver fresh off a big bonus signing with the Cleveland Browns and just 28 years old, was well over the legal limit for alcohol when he drove his Bentley over a Florida pedestrian. Stallworth is a likable person not fitting the profile of the surly NFL receiver. He said he is sick and devastated and I believe him. And it’s also possible that his alcohol intake had no bearing on the accident, but legally he is toast. I know there are many DUI vets reading this column, and 10 times more who but for luck escaped unscathed, so the bottom line is never ever drive after drinking or while drinking because the life you ruin may also be your own.

SNIPPETS - The Senior Women’s Softball League will have its first practice at 6 p.m., Monday, April 20, at Sports at the Beach in Georgetown.   Three teams returning to the league are the Alley Cats 50s, Delaware Diamonds 50s and Delaware Diamonds 60s.  Games will be played on Monday nights.  Teams will also compete in the Delaware Senior Olympics in September. If you are between 50 and 75 years old and would like to join one of these teams, or if you have a whole new team, please call coordinator Marion Lisehora at 934-9512. Sussex Tech midfielder Maxine Fluharty scored 10 goals in the Ravens’ 17-9 win over Red Lion Christian. And in an earlier 11-10 loss to Wilmington Friends, the sophomore scored seven goals. I cannot help wondering how Maxine would mesh into the Cape program.

The girl is one seriously good player in field hockey and lacrosse and could kick it in track as well if she felt like doubling up. With all the college signing photos I’ve taken, I wonder if I could snap some un-signing photos for those who drop out or transfer in the first year.