How cool would that be to forever hold the 19,999 crooked number?

Tim Duncan of the San Antonio Spurs now moves a bit like the Tin Man in search of an oil can after too many years of basketball, which is the hardest of sports of the skeletal system. Timmy, as I like to call him, is a good guy and classy person and just by accident I switched on the bedroom television last Wednesday night to see Duncan was just a point shy of reaching the 20,000-point milestone.

And so I watched the game versus Utah who had some seven-foot dunking Russian dude I had never heard of throwing down in people’s faces, but I went out like general anesthesia had been mainlined into my arm. I woke up to find that Duncan only scored 14 points in a loss leaving him stuck at 19,999. I think he should quit immediately - how cool would that be to forever rock the 19,999 crooked number? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar scored 38,000 in his career while Wilt Chamberlain scored 31,000.

YOU MUST BE STUPID - Charles Barkley was a guest on an NFL pregame show and when asked if he could still dunk he laughed and said, ”Of course I can still dunk.” Then he smiled and said, “No, I can’t.”

Jay Leno has Michael Jordan on his lame and languishing 10 p.m soon to be jettisoned program via big-screen studio television and asked Jordan, “Can you still dunk?” It was apparent that Air Jordan didn’t even like the insinuation that he was returning to earth with the rest of us “used to dunk” athletes and said to Leno, ”You must be stupid!”

I had a person come up to me once affecting a mocking laugh and say, “They tell me you used to be able to dunk a basketball,” and before I allowed them to go further I admitted “used to” is a long way off, but I am still the master of the power German head lock so proceed with caution.

TAKE SOME TIME OFF - We all saw where the University of Connecticut basketball coach Jim Calhoun was advised by his doctor to “take some time off” and the official statement was that it was not cancer or heart related - Calhoun medical history - leaving those of us who may remotely care and want some time off ourselves to speculate that it is stress.

I know lots of working people past the age of 50 – so do you - who should be wanded and x-rayed before stepping into the workplace. Stress is a biofeedback reality; it does a person no good, elevating blood pressure while making nerve endings quick to snap.

Yoga is good and so is meditation and anything aerobic. We store stress like a condenser smack in the middle of the chest. Caffeine will jack up the stress junkie and nicotine will do the same. Hang with placid people just to learn how they manage to stay so cool.

BODY AUGMENTATION - Fat guys with big bellies are self-enhanced and so what? The national media has been relentless going after New York Jets coach Rex Ryan for being fat. Rex plays it off, but some scrawny scribe, like the annoying Tony Kornheiser, is going to be the metro-cow that broke the mammoth’s spine and get his head ripped off.

I think it’s all right for fat guys to poke fun at each other, but a basic rule of ridicule is unless you are a member of the target group proceed at your own risk.

SNIPPETS - Jordan Allen and Marcus Gooch are both playing basketball at Division III DeVry University whose main campus is in Fort Washington, Pa.

Kyle White, former Cape and Sussex Central point guard, scored 15 and dished off five assists as the Goldey Beacom Lightning defeated Wilmington University 71-65 improving to 12-3 on the season.

Shemik Thompson, former Cape player, scored a career-high 27 points as the Central Connecticut State Blue Devils beat Sacred Heart 88-65.

Alliteration is words beginning with the same letter strung together, like “Stalker” Sullivan, the Caravel wrestling coach - first name Nicholas - accused by former girlfriend (as reported on Delaware Online) leading to the question: “High school coach is possible stalker?” Step off “potentially dangerous person” until issue is resolved by your obvious innocence. I am canceling the contract - coaches have no due process - arguing all errors of judgment must be made to protect kids.  The people of Lewes have learned that lesson the hard way.