I’m just mad I didn’t get to rock a Greene Turtle T-shirt for Saint Patrick’s Day

If I hear the words “Greene Turtle” one more time as I’m standing at a lacrosse game, I am going to yawn. I’m starting to get it! Everyone - boy or girl - who owns a stick is on some exclusive Greene Turtle team in the off season, and every player personally knows every other reasonably good player because of their shared Greene Turtle experience. It reminds me of the summer exclusive 205 camps that became so desirable that the camp was expanded to three sessions of the top 205, which became the 615 best players with disposable income. I’m mostly kidding and don’t turtle snap at me because my sons and granddaughters are all involved coaching or playing lacrosse, and I’m just mad I didn’t get to rock a Greene Turtle T-shirt for Saint Patrick’s Day.

TURTLE IRONY- Comcast with its locked down five million customers has been using turtles with high-speed fantasies to trash DSL providers, but the wheel has come around, and who is slow now? How can you run out of digital cable boxes necessary for powering high-definition televisions the week leading into the NCAA basketball tournament? And why does a customer have to park in that strange Five Pointe Plaza shopping center then stand in line to talk to service reps behind security glass only to be told, “We don’t have any digital boxes, but give us your number and we’ll call you honey.” “No you don’t have to call me honey, honey, just call me.”

BAD NEWS BEIDEMAN – I watched a bit of girls’ soccer practice last Tuesday night and as usual marveled at that bag of bones Warren Beideman in his kick-around street clothes handling a soccer ball adeptly with either foot, just enjoying every second of it, and I concluded that zest for life far outdoes any workout routine. Beideman plays soccer twice a week in Fruitland, Md. - wherever that is - in a senior league for men over 30. “I’m 77,” Coach B said, then laughed, knowing he qualified for full field senior soccer 47 years ago. And while I have this extended cab magnum Dodger/Codger lined up in my sights, let me also say that when fast friends leave your side Beideman will be the guy still standing there because he not only plays like a dog but has the same loyalties. This I know for a fact, as do a few others.

LEPRECHAUN LINGO - The Cape lacrosse girls had a scavenger hunt before practice last Saint Patrick’s Day, and the final prize was to find the leprechaun. Yes, it does seem a little corn doggy, but team building is an artful endeavor, and athletes will work hard for a coach can also blend in a little nonsensical fun. Hiding in the locker room was assistant coach Bill Lingo, a great sport and not too big to be a leprechaun for a day. Now, I am way too big and would better represent a boiled cabbage about to fall apart.

WHERE’S MY LINES? Let’s cut to the quick. The repaved Cape track has no lines, therefore no home meets, and all is further complicated as the home side orientation will be changed so the common finish line is on the press box side of the track going left to right on your radio dial. The line guys are currently in Florida, which is not cool, but what about a limer laying down flour? And forget geometry, let’s talk approximations. Back in 1975 I had outside custodian J.T. Moore line the off-sized home track behind Shields using a cloth tape and eyeball approximations. Harriet Jeglum sat in a school bus and did the announcing. John Sarik was the starter and blew people out of the blocks if they “pulsated” prior to the gun firing. Rock it old school!

SNIPPETS - The fundraiser is for Cape baseball and the food is flapjacks; the place is Applebee’s in the Tanger Outlets, from 8 to 10 a.m., Saturday, March 21. It’s all you can eat for $5 so if you are up early, please drop by and vote “yes” for Cape baseball. Carrie Lingo, now captain of the USA Field Hockey team, will be the graduation speaker this June for the Cape class of 2009. I got this email earlier in the week pertaining to a lacrosse article in the Tuesday paper. McDonogh. No “u.” St. Joseph in Philly, Baltimore version always called Mount St. Joseph or Mt. St. Joe’s. Snap!

The Faith United Methodist Church School is sponsoring for the first time a Basketball Battle starting at 5 p.m., Saturday, April 4. This event will be held at Cape’s Little Big House. Games feature the City of Lewes versus Sussex Correctional Guards, Cape Alumni versus Sussex Central Alumni and more teams to be announced. There will also be a halftime Slam Dunk Contest, Skills Competition and Three-Point Shootout. Prizes will be awarded. The cost for all this excitement will be $4 per person. Refreshments will be on sale. All proceeds will benefit the Faith United Methodist Church School located in Rehoboth. For more information call Eddie Reese at 302-249-3630. The U10 boys team from the Sussex YMCA won a 10-team tournament in Wilmington last weekend, posting a record of 4-0. Members of that team were Austin Elliot, Alec Hochrein, Brent Hochrein, Ben Ashby, Tyzir Morris, Iziahe Dadzie, Brent Reed, Zach Gelof, Dylan Alves and Ryan Mead.