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I could scatter 11 hits over five innings for that kind of jack

August 14, 2009
Jamie Moyer sat in the Chicago dugout looking like a sad sack while staring at his cleats. He summoned the press to tell them he was despondent at being dropped from the Phillies’ rotation and sent to the bullpen. I was beginning to feel sorry for crafty veteran until I read the 46-year-old was in the first year of a two-year contract that pays him $13 million.

Hey, I could scatter 11 hits over five innings for that kinda jack. How do rich people get suddenly sullen? Pedro Martinez, who took his spot, is only getting $1 million for half a year; somebody call the Latino defense league.

JOEY TABLER - Joey is already a senior at Davidson College and is listed as a 325-pound starter at left guard. Joey has 13 career starts under his belt, including the last 11 games his junior year. Joey visited with Cape coach Tom Ott over the summer and might pursue a career in criminal justice upon graduation or go straight to law school. Joey was a lacrosse goalie at Cape his senior year, splitting time with sophomore Franc Cook as the Vikings won the state championship.

YOU CAN’T COME OUT - I have a great-nephew named Jake Wiatrowski who is an incoming freshman at West Chester University. Jake has a cousin, Mike, and grandfather, Tom, who both played in the NFL. He was a long snapper for Neshaminy High School in Langhorne, Pa. Jake wanted to walk on to the West Chester program but was told to wait until spring because they just had too many players to allow freshman walk-ons.

Zach Wood from Cape is a redshirt freshman on the Golden Ramroster and his dad, Greg, can play the drums and sing “Wooly Bully” at the same time - talk about an athlete of the week! But seriously, Zach is just a tough player and hopefully he’ll see the field in the nickel and dime package when the Rams play at Delaware this September.

THE CHOKER - Can you believe that former Nebraska All-American running back Lawrence Phillips has once again been convicted of choking his girlfriend into unconsciousness, the offense actually occurring in 2005? Phillips was released by the Rams back in 1997 for insubordination.

”I ain’t running no off tackle hole.”

Now Phillips faces 25 years in jail and he is already serving 10 for hitting three teenagers with his car. A question to be posed is, “Are big muscular guys who play contact sports more prone to violence than, say, figure skaters?”

The answer is obviously yes, but choking women is a deeper disturbance - what Sigmund Freud called “mommy issues.”

LOOK AT HIS EARS - A crowded college bar on a Thursday night in West Chester 40 years ago. I followed my 135-pound, All-American wrestling friend toward a corner where the dartboard hung. A big drunk dude grabbed him by his piped-out arm and bellowed, “Say excuse me to my girlfriend; you stepped in front of her.”

My friend, an easygoing psychomaniac of the mats, said to the girl, “Oh, I’m sorry if I stepped in front of you.”

Then the drunken dude began to push his luck. I tried to give him a heads up: “Look at his ears.”

My buddy had no ears; they were all cauliflower and bite marks. And then a “heads up” turned to an “up on the head” as a 230-pound bigmouth had been mounted on the deer head with orders, “Don’t move until I say you can come down.” Some young bucks have to learn the hard way.

SNIPPETS - Morgan Webster of the Delaware Storm has been named as a Player of the Game at the 2009 Fast Nationals held in Ocoee, Fla. This is a great honor to receive, as the Players of the Game are chosen by the opposing team’s coaching staff. Morgan, a Cape kid, is the daughter of former Cape player Karen Yingling.

The Sussex County Dart League is seeking new sponsors and players to join the league for the 2009-10 season. Check out the website at scdarts.com. Contact Charlie Gouert, league president, for additional information at 381-2833.

There is no way to spin preseason football and arrive at the word meaningful.

The Eagles have most of their offensive line hurt and out of action. The Andrews brothers, Shawn and Stacy, are both out as is Todd Herremans, who hurt a tiny bone in his foot, actually a very bad injury for big people.

Cape grad Tyler Townsend hurt his wrist two weeks ago and had been out of the lineup for the Aberdeen IronBirds in the Baltimore Orioles minor league.

Lillie Lingo is not listed on the 2009 field hockey roster at the University of North Carolina.

My two-year old granddaughter Lina, along with her parents and brother Will, were in Wrigley Field last Thursday to watch Cliff Lee go after the Cubs. She told fans in the stands, “I’m going to Chicago.”

I’m going nowhere in a hurry fast.

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