I was having flashbacks to the days of vintage uniforms

Gold Coach Mike Tkach screamed “Heavy package!” during the Gold team scrimmage last Wednesday night and all I could think of was my German aunts attacking a backyard table, wolfing down potato and macaroni salad, deviled eggs and tasty fat burgers swathed in full-bodied mayonnaise.

The Gold’s football heavy package looked ferocious, and if there had been rosters that matched numbers and helmets with less than 20 decals, I may have been able to identify a player or two.

BAG LADIES - A sudden change and lack of plans saw the Little Big House closets emptied in record time last Monday. I limped across the gym floor and encountered Alison Sullivan and Jen Eckman, who wore old hockey skirts over their regular clothes and also old basketball warmups.

I was having flashbacks to the days of vintage uniforms and rampaging school pride. I admit I am partial to fit women sporting the bag lady layered look.

MOVING ON UP - Play the theme song of the “Jeffersons” because Cape is under the gun, ordered to move on up and out. Last Monday the entire weight room of the Bud Dome was moved to the ninth grade gym, where half the space is now a weight room and the other half will be basketball players soon to crash into a weight room.

Yes, sports fans, it is going to be unsettled and get pretty wild over the next year. I peered through a window of the new high school and began to lust for a corner room with windows on two sides. I wish I could jump start my career the same way my principals had the entire time I taught there.

DIGITAL FOOTBALL - Thanks to Cape Athletic Director Bob Cilento, we managed to rescue two big boxes of 16-millimeter football films spanning the decade of the 1970s, including the games from the 1979 state championship season. I checked with First State Photo in Rehoboth and all this history can be saved in digital format onto DVDs for a 25 percent discounted price of $3,600 dollars.

Needless to say, 10 years of football games with no sound for that amount of money is not an easy sell. So I’m just throwing the tapes into the next dumpster that’s unlocked! No, I’m not; I will horde them in case some athletic bag lady wants to watch some old tape.

STRETCHING - I saw a fit woman getting after it at Gold’s Gym, going relentless high intensity from cardio to giant sets with the weights, and it was impressive, but nothing I hadn’t seen before. But then she went into Yoga overdrive, which hardly anyone bothers to do, although stretching is the best of all exercises. Not many Americans like stretching – it’s just too stationary and meditative.

And the ironic thing about working out is that it has nothing to do with actual work. Try mowing the grass and moving a hose without removing your hands from the shutoff bar. That is a workout and work, too.

THE PRICE OF JUSTICE - I have often said, “Everyone knows how you get into jail but not many know how you get out.”

It depends on the perpetrator, the victim and the crime, and in criminal cases side money deals and settlements are not supposed to affect sentences. But the case of Donte Stallworth sends all that through the windshield after the NFL receiver was given 30 days in jail and two years of confinement to his mansion - any one of three - for killing a pedestrian while driving drunk in his Bentley. In fairness to Stallworth, the pedestrian was running a crossing pattern across an interstate to catch a bus and was impossible to miss; nevertheless, drunk driving makes the accident a criminal offense.

The Vick case elicits no forgiveness by society because when you intentionally and sadistically kill a dog or many dogs you go straight to the pen and you cannot buy your way out.

BOGEY AND BABIES - Pictured here is baby Bogey Dog in the back of a pickup chewing up his owner’s backpack. And in the wagon are Shea and Mckenna Danahy watched by their grandmother as their mom Brittany runs the Outlet Liquors 5K. Their father, Kevin, an elite runner and triathlete and tri-coach, used the morning to cross train by working on his golf game.

SNIPPETS - Milford continues to contest its movement back to the Northern Division of the Henlopen Conference, and after four state championships in one year which included three Division II titles, that is a battle the Bucs should continue to fight. The break between north and south in the Henlopen goes from shaky to shady; it’s all in the count procedure.

The Phillies have been tanking on their latest home stand (1-4), so all fan mail should be sent to the Camden Aquarium.