Please keep your personal punishments private

Public weight-loss programs, beating the drum loudly because you haven’t smoked in six months and talking about how you haven’t had a drink in such a long time and don’t even miss it are all cries for help by people needing the approval and validation of others. Do the right thing and be quiet about it; all the support in the world can’t make vanilla Oreo cookies taste bad to me. I can eat them by the sleeve and will if I feel like it, depressed or happy state of mind, it is irrelevant. Oprah makes $90 million a year and she’s plump again, so just roll with it girl and stop crying on camera; you’re not Tyra Banks, who by the way is all the way nuts!

BUNCH OF FARMERS - Xenophobes from northern Delaware often confront the culture of downstate sports by saying things like “a bunch of farmers” or “they’re all related” or “look at the size of their calves; that’s from running on the beach.” I now transition to the Aggies of Delaware Valley College and local athletes Bethany Pavlik and Sean Tappan, who are tearing it up as we windshield farmers like to say after running on the beach with our cousins.

An equine science and management/pre-vet major who maintains a 3.79 cumulative grade point average, Pavlik was named to the all-Freedom Conference team for the fourth straight year. She started 29 games and led the team in batting (.379), slugging (.536), hits (36), triples (5), home runs (2) and RBIs (28) while placing second in runs scored (20) and doubles (5). Pavlik wrapped up her career as the school’s all-time leader in RBIs with 98 and a share of the home run mark with 19. She finished second all-time in hits with 140 and fourth in batting with a .384 average.

Sean Tappan, a 6-foot-5 pitcher, has a record of 4-4 and leads the Aggies in innings pitched with 60. Tappan, a senior, is an environmental science major and is team captain for the second straight year.

Sean ranks in the top 10 all-time list of Aggie pitchers in wins, strikeouts, innings pitched and throwing tennis balls to retrievers.

Start with his grandfather Bill, who played basketball for Rehoboth High School, and come down from there; all Tappans are related and a generation from now the Pavliks with eight siblings will need their own development.

STATE CHAMPIONSHIP TRACK WEEKEND - Two divisional titles in both boys and girls track for a total of four team state championships will be contested this Friday and Saturday at Caesar Rodney High School. The Cape girls are in Division One and the boys will compete in Division Two. Do you really care why? The top 15 schools in enrollment are Division One; everyone left over is Division Two. Cape girls will go head to head with a favored Delcastle team that is sprinter dominated. Based on the embellished seed times submitted by most coaches, Delcastle wins the meet by 40 points over Cape. I see it as half of that. A dropped baton in a sprint relay or some Viking distance runners clocking personal bests and we may have us a track meet.

TOWER ROAD - Locals know when the weather breaks and it’s time to take the kids to the ocean beach that Tower Road is the place to go, no rolling stones under the feet punishing those hundreds of metatarsals and phalanges, because if a foot isn’t ugly enough, no one needs to sport purple phalanges while wearing flip-flops.

Friday, May 14, both the girls and boys Cape lacrosse teams travel to Route 52 North in Wilmington to face potent Tower Hill teams, and although a win is not crucial for either, it sure would be nice. The girls game begins at 4:15 and the boys play at 7:30. The Tower Hill girls are 9-3 while the boys are 11-3.

SNIPPETS - It is race weekend in Dover, but don’t worry about traffic; most fans have been there all week. The sixth annual Surf Bagel 5K and 10K will start at 9 a.m., Saturday at Cape High. The first Donkey Dash 5K will start Sunday, May 16, at the Woodbridge Athletic Complex. No word on whether the “Hee Haw” jug band will perform.