DEADLY DISTRACTION - I was just trying to watch a lacrosse game last Wednesday night, so why did the royal blue and yellow hard-bellied Rider bunnies stop in front of me with all their teenage exuberance and lettered torsos? I could feel what was happening. Older people were watching me to see if I was watching them instead of taking notes on the game.
And so I moved, I kid you not, because no one is busting me for sideways leering. But where were the dress code police? I’ll tell you where they were - in meetings discussing dress codes which most of them need. Let’s get real.
Seriously, I believe the Cape school board should wear Hamilton Beach T-shirts to meetings because they are likely to pop off about anything. Last I checked their job was oversight and outta sight. Anyone with big ideas should be forced to work the front lines carrying them out. I have watched kids to see if they are distracted by the things which would have rolled me out of my desk back in my day. The answer is they are not because they don’t suffer from suppression and repression, so don’t lay that rap on them. Trust me if you don’t have “hallway cred” with going-to-school teenagers then don’t step into their fashion world because they will size you up for what you are - way too observant!
CYBER SHOTS - I know this is dumb, but in sports that keep track of goals and shots on goals and saves should there be a number that adds up and is equal to another number? For example if a team has 37 shots on goal and 13 goals scored and the goalie made 14 saves that is 27 shots accounted for. Where are the other 10?
Lacrosse is weird also in that if you are the closest to a shot on goal that is going out of bounds and the goalie doesn’t touch it, then it is your ball. Who made up that rule? That’s why when smart people watch a game for the first time and start asking you about all the illogical rules you just shout, “I don’t know!”
I’m trying to check out some sideline pageantry here. Shouldn’t Ryder be spelled with an i? Why does that girl have a Y on her belly? What is she, a rental truck? Why ask Y?
FLYERS FEVER - I paid absolutely no attention to the Flyers’ regular season, but now that they are in the conference finals of the Stanley Cup playoffs I am all the way on board. If that makes me a front runner just think how slow the rest of the field must be.
The Stanley Cup is the toughest trophy in all of sports; nothing else is even close. You can get worn out just watching the games.
Football and basketball look slow by comparison. Hockey players are like rugby guys on skates and they still do interviews and talk to fans without acting like they are doing the world a favor.
MISERY LOVES COMPANY - Friday looks like a washout, so if you were the designated person who decided if a game or conference track championship were held would you postpone to the next sunny day or drag everyone through hours of weather misery?
Personally, I’m a why do today what could just as easily be done tomorrow type of guy because a boiled hotdog on a wet roll is doable but gross. Check viewmyschedule.com for the latest in schedule alterations.
DIVING INTO DEBT - The end game of hovercraft parents is lifelong debt because there comes a time when a child must be told, ”You see an extra $40,000 hanging around this house? Do the words Del Tech mean anything to you?”
Forget gas prices, why pay for an expensive education for a kid you’ve never seen read a book or ask an inquisitive question? The price of education is only worth it if, in fact, exposure to knowledge is inculcated into the cranium of the learner and they become a changed person, perhaps even a thinking person. I know lots of smart people who will impart knowledge and wisdom for free and they don’t even care if your iPod is turned to full volume.
QUESTION ASKED AND ANSWERED - I used to ask my minority students if they ever tired of being taught “A History of the World According to the Average White Guy?” We would all laugh and they would always say no.
They were more concerned with having teachers who knew what they were talking about and who respected them and it was an insult to pick a teacher of color to teach people of color unless that was the best choice.
And why we’re on the subject, quite often if a white student has difficulty in the class of a minority teacher many are quick to pull the race card. Coaching is like teaching and if you ask players at any level they will tell you that the race of the coach is a nonfactor. They just want fair and consistent treatment.
SNIPPETS - Driving Route 1 is a sport if NASCAR is a sport because there are more accidents and worse drivers. No cell phone, iPods and turn down your radio. Buckle up, drive cautiously, attentively and defensively and say to yourself, “They ain’t getting me, not today!”
And don’t worry about how many highway workers it takes to wash a steam roller; keep your focus on the game. And never jump green from stop when people run yellow all the time.
Is it too late to get in bathing suit shape for the summer? You bet your provolone it is.
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Sports Editor Emeritus
Email Fredman at fredman@capegazette.com
