They were possessed of the one true message and felt no pain
DO I CARE? - Did you ever hear a coach talk about his team’s overall GPA and the fact that most of them take honors classes and advanced placement? As sports fans, exactly what are we supposed to make of that?
I honestly remember Johnny Majors of Tennessee recruiting a fullback from my high school who had stung my spine several times in practice. I was standing there when Majors asked James, “Have you taken the SAT?”
James looked confused, “Taken them where?”
“We’ll take him,” Majors said.
CONTACT CHRISTIANS - Hairy blond Nordic guys in football locker rooms trying to recruit members to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes always scared me.
“No, absolutely not,” I told Sven, my Temple teammate when first approached. “I’m not Christian; I’m Catholic, which means no male bonding, no hand holding and no offering up a sport in the form of a prayer. We Catholics endure Mass then sprint to the bakery and hope all the good doughnuts weren’t taken by the soft-biting 6 o’clock Mass elderly crowd.”
And then Sven and his Polish Christian buddies would rock me in practice, hitting me so hard I’d see black spots and I knew they were possessed of the one true message and felt no pain - they only inflicted it.
SPORTS A MICROCOSM - “Sports teaches life lessons, it is a metaphor for life, a microcosm; the lessons you learn will last a lifetime,” to which I would reply, “But coach, sports is a game we elect to play, while life is for real, you know, the drama is completely different.”
Temple coach George Makris took me aside after a practice. “The next time I give a life lesson talk you just shut up. Is that enough of a life lesson for you?”
LIFETIME SPORTS - Let’s get real, the only thing lasting a lifetime is your body. Isn’t it time for all schools to bring fitness into the real curriculum to be dovetailed with psychology and heath, nutrition and problems of democracy, like too many fat people who get a handicapped sticker rather than wallow into the supermarket.
Studies have shown that even the sport of golf has declining participation across the country, let alone badminton, dodge ball, casting for lawn shrimp and the family reunion horseshoes and smear the queer. No letters - it just means tackle the odd person.
JAIL THE ROCKET - The Justice Department is going to investigate Roger Clemens because he showed up voluntarily to testify before Congress then lied about some things.
“Back up a minute. Jose who?”
Athletes lie all the time - usually about their illustrious past and how great they were back in the day. I often interrupt these people.
“Do you have any idea who you’re talking to? There is no way you hit a home run every time up your senior year. There is no way you threw the shot put 57 feet in 1957.”
And it is tough to prove the negative where no records exist - I did it in gym class or all scorebooks are lost. The more country the background, the bigger the yarn. Clemens knows his Texas tale is tall - that isn’t the point. It’s his story and he’s sticking to it and now we all need to go away. Man, if they put all the liars in jail, who would be left, and don’t say you.
SNIPPETS Kristina Lingo is a freshman outfielder/first baseman for the Fairfield University Stags softball team. The team opens the season Saturday, March 1, in Orlando versus Valparaiso. The Stag’s southern swing includes 19 games in Orlando, Tampa and South Carolina. Any guess where Kenny Lingo will be during that period?
Speaking of The Little Big House, a plaque leading into the gym is in dedication to the late Ken Lingo, Kenny’s father, a former school board member, for his efforts on behalf of Cape Henlopen sports and bringing the Big Little Gym to a reality.
Speaking of minorities, if Cape elects a second turf field over preservation of the Little Big House just how many minority athletes will take advantage of that? I know as many as want to, but the fact is over the last 30 years the venues that have disappeared the most rapidly are places to play basketball and are often replaced by tennis courts and my favorites - outdoor volleyball, tetherball and bone-breaking, state-of-the-art playground apparatus.
YMCA basketball playoffs begin Saturday, March 1, which sounds pretty scary to me. Parents behave, but if an adult ruckus involving slip-sliding bodies and collapsing chairs does commence, please take pictures.
George Carlin, old and bold, has an HBO special Saturday night, March 1. In a preview Carlin came down hard on sports parents saying they have to allow their kids the opportunity to be failures and to take responsibility for themselves.
There are more Steelers fans across the country than any other NFL team, but nobody moves to Pittsburgh. Myron Cope, for 34 years the radio voice of the Steelers and inventor if the Terrible Towel, died last Wednesday. Cope was old school before it was cool. Gotta run but can’t talk about the midnight ambler.
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Sports Editor Emeritus
Email Fredman at fredman@capegazette.com
