What do a lion and a dog have in common?

Norman Rockwell’s paintings in the Saturday Evening Post were said to capture images of Americana - lots of kids and neighborhoods and things we all recognize. I love this image of a boy waiting for a Little League game being played behind the fence at his back to be over. His tee shirt reads Sports… Yes!! Girls…Yes!! Homework…NO!

I wonder if his shirt is a dress code violation or if some lame adult has tried to tell him his priorities are upside down because the way I see it the kid already has life hard wired.

SHORT BUS - Three years ago at Cape, a tall and sociable kid in all the special programs was wearing a shirt with a little yellow school bus which read, “I ride the short bus.” The special needs kid had gone online and ordered the shirt with his credit card.

MISUNDERSTANDING - Another school year going back 20 years, I witnessed a large male teacher bringing a fairly large student by the neck to the office counter.

The teacher was simply enraged and over the top as this gifted track athlete certified as socially maladjusted and emotionally disturbed who would go on to be a state champion half miler had succeeded in getting under all the layers of the man’s skin.

The teacher babbled to the principal and finally the kid said, “If I may interject something? I think what we have here is a big misunderstanding.”

INTELLIGENCE TESTING - Another late 70s special education student and two-sport athlete with a part-time job with his own car he bought with his own earnings was pulled from my classroom for retesting to see if he still qualified for special services, which was me, the lucky dog. Later the kid was back in my room and I asked the psychologist how this was possible.

He gave an example from a test question: “What do a lion and dog have in common? The student said, “They both bite!”

He was given a one on a five-point scale. A five-point answer would be, “They are both warm blooded, carnivorous mammals who hunt in packs.”

I stopped one of my “normal” track guys on his way to lunch. “Hey, Purcell, what do a lion and a dog have in common?” He looked at me quizzically and answered, “Not too much really!” Now that is bonus points!

HEAR YOU TELL IT - “The people who say academics are more important than sports are always the people who can’t play anything.”

I use that line often when I’m asked to speak to youth groups, which isn’t often because I ain’t tryin to represent no young life leader, believe that! Sports have always been more important to me than anything and there are hundreds of kids in every school who feel the same way. The lesson is that smart people play all the talent cards in their deck and don’t relish playing the chump for anybody.

The current athletic scene is dominated by academic and high achieving students - that’s the new metric, as they say on cable news. Schools still use words like rubric, but that is so yesterday just like paradigm shift. The June 12 referendum is not a battle of academics versus athletics because the athletes are the academic kids and no one has asked them what they think because most people don’t care. A yes vote for the new turf field and mini stadium is a vote for thousands of kids over several decades - I’m convinced of that. But what do I know? I’m just the guy who has seen more games and practices over more sports than anyone in the history of the world.

SNIPPETS - I love this Phillies team because they have so many likable players and I don’t know whether they can hang on and do something in the post-season, but summer kick back is more fun if you’re a Phillies fan.

Back during my rookie test on the Rehoboth Beach Patrol I had to rescue (without a buoy) Jocko Fritz, a University of Delaware lineman. Jocko played the flailing and fearing for his life panicked victim. This was before sunscreen and he was oiled up and in a cross-chest single rescue. I couldn’t control him. He eventually floated like an air-filled brontosaurus raft from the dollar store but in big surf with a big boy and no buoy I’d have needed zodiac and bullhorn. “I’m over here!”

Be safe and be smart and don’t body surf waves that break on the beach. Go on now, git!