Once married to a lie it’s hard to divorce back to reality

Most tales of sports exaggerations I can spot minutes before they’re fully developed and I usually warn people: “I am not the person you want to tell a made-up sports story so please back off before I out you.”

Last Saturday it was an artist painter dude who had a painting of Cassius Clay standing over a knocked-out Sonny Liston and I knew right away it was the second fight in Lewiston, Maine, and the phantom first-round punch and the image was from a Sports Illustrated photo. But the artist claimed it was the first fight and that he was there ringside in Pittsburgh and took the photo even though the first fight was in Miami and Liston was never on his back but simply refused to answer the bell in the seventh round.

But I understand that once married to a good lie a person is reluctant to divorce back to reality.

TALENT SEARCH - There is no level of sports that is beneath my writing talents. I can cover the NFL and go right to a 10-year-old Minor League All-Star game. I am challenged by each assignment and feel pressured to capture a good story because I don’t want my name tagged to some piece of writing that is not lively and interesting and able to capture the interests of readers who are not relatives.

I have watched four Rehoboth Minor League All-Star games in the last week and sure, I have my ADD moments and sometimes I’m confused by wild pitches versus passed balls and what’s a hit or a 10-year-old error, but it is also a time to learn. Little athletes will teach you something if you pay attention. The Rehoboth team looked mediocre at the start - a two and out team - but they won three in a row, all unlikely come-from-behind wins, mainly because they are a solid team top to bottom and better than anyone except grandparents thought they were.

Manager Dynell Toppin and coaches Matt Emery and Art Lodge have done a great job teaching these kids and staying positive when the going goes whack. I have been impressed and even inspired. Now all of you who lean over the fence to give advice during games need to sit back down.

HEAT EXHAUSTION - Adrenaline is a “don’t feel the pain” natural hormone that can push an athlete through the pain barrier which is there for a reason and that is “back it down” or risk death, moron!

I played a first-half football game for Temple - offensive guard - on a hot and humid September night and at halftime I was in the non-air-conditioned old school Temple Stadium locker room flat on my back on a metal table. My pads were peeled off and the sweat-drenched gray T-shirt cut away with surgical scissors. I could not raise my arms and I was seeing spots, but I felt so damn fit with muscles glistening near the surface of my skin.

I was drenched with a bucket of water and the head coach looked over and yelled, “What the hell is wrong with him? Make sure he’s ready for the second half!”

Those were the days, but we’re a lot smarter now but not really. Every runner I know who starts a race will keep going and pass out before they stop running - just remember “Heat Stroke Ain’t No Joke!”

FORTY-YEAR-OLD VAULTER - Jeff Hartwig from St. Louis made the U.S. Olympic team last Sunday by pole vaulting 18-8, all the more remarkable because Hartwig is 40 years old. Back in 2000, Hartwig had a personal best jump of 19-9. Hartwig established a master’s world record, but more importantly, he re-centered the argument about age and peaking versus way past prime.

My friend Steve Taylor told me last Saturday night that I should join a group of guys who play basketball every week on Mike Lapenta’s outdoor court. These guys are all over 50 and I told Steve, “I don’t know what sports you guys are playing but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t resemble basketball.”

Athletes close into the conversation took slight offense but I can only go by my own decline from that sport. When I was 38 I went up to rake a rebound off the rim but not only couldn’t I jump that high anymore but I hurt my shoulder extending me right arm them a toe on my left foot popped when I landed. Even Jordan and Julius had lost sky walking abilities by the time they were 40.

HIPPOS AND HEIFERS - Last week a British woman commentator dropped words like hippo and heifer and humongous referring to some woman at Wimbledon who showed up and exited in the early rounds plump to porky approaching down right fat.
“These women are professional athletes who do nothing but train and play tennis,” she said. “There is no excuse for their condition.”

Last week I saw a clip of the Levon Hernandez of Minnesota Twins pitching to Prince Fielder of the Brewers on Sports Center. Prince is listed at 6-foot-1, 250 pounds, but any “guess your weight” barker at the Harrington Fair would put him more at 310. But when you hit 50 home runs and can motor like a runaway truck who cares?

SNIPPETS - This is the fitness season so stay off the Boardwalk early in the morning if you’re not wearing a pedometer and headphones and be careful encountering people on successful diet and exercise programs because they may stop and tell you all about it.

Jordan Allen, a starter on the Cape basketball team, will be returning to football this fall his senior year after taking a year off. Jordan is a special player who can quarterback and play running back. I am just feeling Cape will have a great season - a winning season - I can just feel it.

I checked with two Division III college coaches I know to verify that Division III Schools do not offer athletic scholarships or give athletic money. And they don’t! Personally I am getting confused with all the “signing ceremonies” including one to a community college. Can a personal actually sign with Delaware Tech? Meep! Meep! How about Purdue - 4 to 12 shift?