A little advice for event directors: you gotta to keep those dawgies rollin’

The first year the Punkin Chunkin moved west of Harbeson, a 7-mile Saturday morning traffic backup was created, the problem stemming from the huge site as cars were stopped and money collected. You have got to keep the dawgies rolling. Last Friday night at Cape’s beautiful athletic complex, the same scenario was created. A monster line slowed to barely moving as people - most of them not happy but too lazy to get to the game early - tried to get into the football game between Sussex Tech and Cape Henlopen before Desmond Sivels went over 100 yards. The solution to this delightful dilemma is to open all the gates and set up tables of ticket takers with quick hands and bad attitudes. Just get the people inside. I’m all about giving advice and there is a reason I am never put in charge of anything.

The twits of Twitter - I sat down in my press box seat three hours before game time at last Sunday’s Eagles game and there on my row was the obligatory young, multiple-handheld-devices, double-Snapple-sucking, fat white dude, the chalk outline of the modern-day sports geek. I introduced myself: “I’m Dave Frederick, sports editor of the Cape Gazette in Lewes/Rehoboth, Delaware.” His response, with no hand offered: “I’m Matt.” I wanted to go on attack. “So you’re the fat Matt I’ve heard so little about. Not much of a welcome, Matt! Don’t they teach schmoozing in college Twitter classes these days? Networking means engaging actual people, Matt - say, is that a first-generation android plugged into your Toshiba laptop next to your third-generation wide-mouth Snapple?” There wasn’t a factoid on any player on either team Matt didn’t know, but bottom line is he had no clue.

Poor lady - I was recently on YouTube watching the 1983 Tony Dorsett 99-yard touchdown run against the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football. After Dorsett scored, the camera panned the crowd and there was this full-term, way pregnant woman wearing a sweater which only reached the top of her bright white, too-big-for-primetime orb of planetary proportions. Don Meredith exclaimed from the booth, “Who is that poor lady?” followed by “Must be a Vikings fan.” It was pretty silly and harmless but if it happened in 2010 Meredith would be under attack from the morally outraged and appalled crowd. One of the best quotes ever came from Howard Cosell before the mighty Dolphins were to play Buffalo. “Miami may have the oranges but Buffalo‘s got ‘The Juice.’” If you don’t get it, ask your magic eight ball on your pocket android.

Old Yeller! - Speaking as a football guy, I think occasionally being yelled at by a coach of any sport is just part of the maturation process - you know, the old “boys to men” justification. What would concern me more is a young man who would tell his mother, “You should have heard what coach called me.” Take the moment out of context and calling any athlete an unflattering name using any of a variety of vulgar adjectives popular with alpha males is just impossible to defend. Coaching young women is an entirely different venture but my experience is they don’t respond well to coaches who yell or extract too much seriousness from them. The song by Cyndi Lauper, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” is a good start.

Snippets - Stonehill College sophomore wide receiver and former Cape football and lacrosse player Kyle Norwood caught seven passes for 92 yards in a 49-28 loss to the University of New Haven. Cape graduates Jimmy Allen and Lionel Maull are both in the University of New Haven Hall of Fame. The University of Maryland women’s soccer team defeated Virginia last week 3-2 as former Cape player Lydia Hastings had the first goal of the game for the Terps. Maryland lost its first game of the season Oct. 3, falling to Virginia Tech 1-0. The Terps play at once-beaten Boston College Oct. 7. The ACC is the power conference in the nation for women’s soccer. Tim Stauffer of the San Diego Padres threw a three-hitter through seven innings last Saturday as the Padres beat the Giants 4-2. Tim is the nephew of attorney Bill Schab, who lives in Lewes. Stauffer, injured much of the season, had a 1.85 ERA heading into the game. Tim’s first cousin Corey Schab, former Cape lacrosse and soccer player, is coaching high school lacrosse in San Diego and heading to graduate school after graduating from Whittier College, which also produced some guy named Richard Nixon if you’re looking for a six-degrees-of-separation story. I’m thinking of doing online real-time wisecracking sports tweets from an iPad for all the events I cover because outside of football, only about 60 people show up to most games.