Phillies fans all living with a hernia after three kicks to the groin
Implosion therapy - If a person is afraid of dogs, lock him or her in a garage filled with friendly, face-licking mastiffs and that person will emerge with fears conquered or completely psychotic, most likely babbling and drinking from a water bowl for a few weeks. I lived through the 1964 Phillies' collapse - just like my Temple transcript - close enough to Connie Mack stadium to see the lights, and this past week with three ninth-inning or extra-inning smackdown losses involving Roy Halladay, Ryan Madson, Antonio Bastardo and Brad Lidge, my fears were confronted.
I watched every dramatic pitch and replay over and over. Brad Lidge came on in the 10th inning after Bastardo threw a wiffle ball slider on a two-strike count with two outs in the ninth to Ian Desmond that was waffled for a game-tying home run. Lidge let the bases get loaded in the 10th, then hit Jonny Gomes to force in the winning run. That is great stuff! Lidge is a well-adjusted, intelligent young man and the next slider he throws should be with a flat stone across the Schuylkill River. Carlos Ruiz sat out two games with bruised testicles, Jimmy Rollins left Sunday's game with a strained groin and Placido's coming off a sports hernia; reminds me of the Weird Al song, ”I'm living with a hernia.”
Girlie rules - I have lived by girlie rules so I know what I'm talking about. Yes, that got your attention. Track used to have limitation rules for girls, no two-mile and no mile/half-mile double. That ridiculous limitation was dropped, but in my opinion, shared by not many people from the world of women's sports, there are still many leftover rules to protect “girlie athletes.” Last I checked, it's fit women who play sports, not princesses. Just make lacrosse the same game and I don't mean injecting free position shots and dangerous propelling rules into the men's game.
And in field hockey everyone plays with a right-handed stick. Why not a double blade, let-it-rip stick? I mean, enough of the rap-tap-tap, then blow the whistle. Why not let the ponies run? I watched young women play rugby Aug. 20 at the Atlantic Cup Tournament. Lust for contact lurks in certain people regardless of gender or body type. I've been bowled over, tossed aside and scratched like a stuffed chair on a few occasions while attempting to quell a girlie conflagration. This is unlikely to happen, so I suggest girls who like contact sports join the rugby club when they get to college.
More on eligibility - Parents and athletes need to know all the rules pertaining to athletic eligibility and to understand the attitude of the school of choice. “Attitude is the father of the action,” so the expression goes, so any institution that would go out of its way to get any athletes declared ineligible has an attitude problem.
Colleges - from admissions to academic requirements to transfer policies, not to mention redshirts and green shirts - are all different. From community colleges with or without two-year degrees to transfers up a level or down a level, it is just confusing. And if you think that all athletic departments ever think twice about these rules, you would be assuming too much. Is that clear?
Snippets - I will be riding the Cape to Cape ferry with Cape Athletic Director Bob Cilento on Tuesday, Aug. 23, 41 years to the day since my son Dave was born at Nazareth Hospital in Philly. My wife Susan's first words to me were, ”Where's Luigi?” My answer to this query on family dog whereabouts was, "He died 10 years ago; I thought you knew.” Bob and I are going to Jersey - Philly by the Sea - for a ceremony where a trophy will be presented to Cape May Regional High School for beating Cape last September. The trophy must be presented, so when the Capers cross the bay to play Cape Henlopen Saturday Sept. 17, the trophy can be won back or defended. Remember to respect the ocean; it's stronger in late August. And you Philly double-armed, straight-in body surfers, don't jump up in front of waves that have already started to break unless you want to be enrolled in the witless dislocation program.
Go on now, git!
