Ramblin’ Woman

We won’t get into the political scene (promise), but I must take a moment and defend old #45 for one thing—his rambling digressions at rallies. For you see, I also have been known to take my listeners on a bit of a ramble now and then. I’m sure the Former Guy is, like me, just uncomfortable with silence, right? My subject matter could not be more different, but I too am guilty of talking onandonandon, at dinner parties and random bump-intos at grocery stores. “How’ve you been, Elise?’” is all the encouragement I need, and then I’m off to the verbal races. 

It's merely that my jam-packed life provides so much fodder—my writing challenges and successes, my speaking gigs, book readings, the classes I’m teaching! Then there’s the fam, from Stevo’s forays into the world of film work and Sheridan’s latest compositions and Evan’s Pacific Northwest tour guiding, to Rose and Julie’s Brooklyn adventures and Pat’s new sales career, not to mention significant others Ya-Jhu, Amrit, Ashlyn and Gil! And grandkids Aiden and Peter’s funny and endearing exploits. Did I tell you we have a new grandbaby coming in a month? And pets! There are three dogs and a cat among the brood, all with fascinating stories I can share! And…wait! Where are you going?

Yes, as I babble on, I know I’m once again guilty of oversharing. Even I get bored rolling into yet another tale from the Elise Chronicles. But all is not as it seems. I truly want to know what’s going on in my companions’ lives! And I do ask (eventually). Is it my fault that my “How’ve YOU beens?” are usually met with a compact paragraph or two? And then the dreaded silence looms once more, and I am forced to continue my saga of my travels. My unsolicited movie and book reviews. My random childhood memories! And…I see you drifting towards the exit! Get back here, friend!

My recent big project, writing the 100^th anniversary book for a country club, includes interviewing large numbers of club members and staff. So I’ve had over 40 convos with folks about their reminiscences. I always manage to get through the questions and their answers, but my subjects never escape without at least a small dose of my own commentary:”You have three grown children! That’s wonderful—I have five!” “You’ve been coming to the Delaware shore for 30 years? Wow! It’s 43 for us—and did I mention we produce the children’s theatre here?”

I have numerous dear friends who I consider amazing listeners. Now I realize—to be my dear friend, you’re kind of forced to be a good listener. Which is really unfair. So—I’m turning over a new leaf! Going forward, sit next to me at dinner, or stroll through the neighborhood by my side! You’ll have all the time and space you need to chat! Or we can be quiet! That’s great too!

What’s my plan?

Simple. 

I’ll just duct tape my mouth.