Bloopers 2015 from the author's voice activation program
Let’s start with wishing everyone a great 2016 and hoping that your holidays were "Mary." One of these years it will recognize, “Merry”.
At the end of the year, I like to look back on all the original draft articles I have sent from my voice program and share some of the bloopers that made for some great editing laughs before I pushed send "Xclamation point" (!)
When you look all the way back to spring training in baseball, the teams started cutting people off their "rockers" (rosters). When the Boston Red Sox got David Price, my efforts to address the ridiculous salary came up as "highway overpass" (highly overpayed) for the "picture" (pitcher) who previously played for "front row and tan beds" (Toronto and Tampa Bay). There was mention of "freeing Alaskans" from torrential rain. The first-place "Mess" (Mets) were mentioned multiple times. And it looks like I would have been "shot" (shocked) if Pete Rose was declared eligible for the Hall of Fame. The Phillies needed to hire a new "gym" (GM/general manager) and Rollins, Utley, Howard and Hamels will eventually join their "team ants" (teammates) on the wall.
In the golf world, Jordan Spieth became the second "dumbest" (youngest) person to win the Masters at the age of 21. At the "Fat Cow Championships"(Fed Ex), he played almost perfect "rails" (rounds) that weekend. "Roy" (Rory) McElroy won the "War Fargo Chivington" (Wells Fargo Championship) by seven shots. Dustin Johnson had a great chance in a major to at least force "deployment" (a playoff) but replied with a "lasso" (late) loss and went "fishing"(finishing) into second place. And Tiger’s year was just one big blooper all by itself!
In a somewhat "spreading" (surprising) tennis result, Roger "Fedor" (Federer) beat Novak Djokovic in a warm-up "appointment" (tournament) for the U.S. Open.
In the French Open finals, "Bubenko" (Wawrinka) beat Novak "Judgments"(Djokovic) in four sets. At Wimbledon, "Robin the doll" (Rafael Nadal) lost in the second round. My voice program just loves tennis players!
The Eagles were awful this year and my iPad seemed to sense this. Many times they came up as the "Beagles" or the "Bagels" and even the "Needles!" They evidently needed "defeathered" (defensive) secondary players a lot more than a quarterback. There was the random reference to a "hot stove" when talking about their struggles, and Matthews was credited with a 45-yard catch to the "internet" (end zone) to win a rare game. There was even a "44th" down conversion in a game against the "Carl’s" (Cardinals).
Basketball was all a mess too. The "Philothea" (Philadelphia) 76ers who at one point were "oh" and 7 never really improved. The 76ers "Julie ogle" or "Oku-4" (Jahlil Okafor) ran into his own troubles. You had the hugely "flavored" (favored) Los Angeles Lakers early in the season. In college hoops, Notre Dame's performance against Kentucky in the elite eight "prunes" (proved) that they weren’t unbeatable.
So, to finish this off, let’s end with soccer and the FIFA debacle. Officials were accused of bribery for ordering certain tournaments to countries in exchange for "lunch!" Fish and chips anyone? Actually (large) "sounds" (sums) of money. Even the guys from Men in Blazers would laugh at this one.
I promise I will get back to real sports news next week.
