Artistic Licensing

If you have ever asked yourself: “What artistic genius designed the iconic logo for Chupa Chups lollipops?” --I have solved the mystery! It was none other than Señor Melting Clocks himself, Salvador Dali, who was approached by the Spanish confectioner in 1969. The jazzy result has graced their sweets wrappers ever since. “Chupa” translates as “suck” in Catalan, but I think they missed a great opportunity to name them “Dali’s Lollys.”

It got me thinking, an always dangerous pursuit. If the greatest artists of all time decided to cash in on branding, what would they likely choose? Never fear; I’ve come up with can’t miss matchings of men and merch!! Such as…

Monet (Manet) Market Funds

A money market is a mutual fund that invests in short-term, high-quality securities. A “Monet” Market (sometimes pronounced “Manet”) is designed for investors in posters, coffee mugs and refrigerator magnets featuring “Water Lilies” (or “Le Déjeuner sur l'Herbe”). Short term indeed, as coffee mugs break, posters tear, and magnets fall under fridges!

Van Gogh Automobile Dealership

If you want to buy a van, you have one prime criterion. That thing has to GO, amirite? Van-Go, get it? Picture a dealership where, on any given day (or starry night), you can purchase a big honking vehicle with no money (Monet?) down and a very attractive APR over five years. Making a bold expressway statement doesn’t have to cost an arm, leg OR ear!

Da Vinci (Code) Remedy

Feeling kinda stuffy? Were you not able to taste your last supper? Well, has Leo got the cold (or, as you say it now, “code”) remedy for you! It’s a sinus-clearing blend of linseed oil and gel medium. You’ll be back to smelling the beautifully painted roses in no time! And apparently the Great One was also a perfumier, so feel free to dab a little on your wrist!

Vermeer Beer

In the mood for a Flemish bevvy? Try this stunning brew! The bottles are adorned with colorful and meaningful labels, including “Girl with a Pearl Earring” “The Milkmaid,” and “The Wine Glass” (renamed as “Girl with a Can of Beer,” “The Beermaid” and “The Beer Glass.”) Also available as a lite beer with a tip of the hat to another Dutch master: “Skinny Rubens.”

Picasso Lottery Game

Pick(asso) your numbers and take a chance! Picasso combines the thrill of throwing your money (Monet?) away, with the fun of creating your own lotto masterpiece, Pablo style. Each ticket is imprinted with a picture of a body part. The more tickets you buy, the weirder the combinations! Ever dreamed of a face with five eyes, three noses, and a leg (NO ear!)? Tape those losing tix together and voila! You've got yourself a masterwork!

Sadly, these artistic giants are all dead, so they’ll never reap the financial benefits of these clever tie-ins. But good news! YOU get to keep all the Monet for yourself, so go ahead and start up a famously-named startup!

I call dibs on Jackson Pollock Seafood.